ESC Etc.

We made it, y’all. 5 heats, 30 tracks, a (disastrously conceived) second chance round, and Sweden has picked the 12 songs that will be vying to represent the current titleholder at ESC on their home ground. I have OPINIONS – some good, some not – but I would like to briefly discuss each entry in the final ranked from least to most favorite, with the caveat that my #1 and #2 songs did not make it to the final (by a hair, but still). If you want to know who they are, you’re gonna have to read the whole thing. Let’s go!

Jay Smith – Back to My Roots

This is one of two tracks that didn’t directly make the final and instead advanced out of the Final Qual round, which was so poorly organized (imagine a show that takes place immediately after the last heat has concluded where no one gets to perform again and a half the points are determined based on how each song did in its own heat…which makes no sense whatsoever) that the two songs that ultimately got in were the ones that came in third and fourth in the last heat from earlier in the day purely due to recency bias. I can tell the lyrics mean a lot to Jay, but it sounds like a Phillip Phillips American Idol discarded winning song from 2012.

Annika Wickihalder – Light

This is the other Final Qual song. Listen. Does she sing it well? Sure. So do I. So does Blanche. But I’ve listened to this 4 times today between watching the shows and writing this post and I still cannot remember anything about the melody or the chorus. Nothing! Nothing sticks. I just listened to it again just now and literally forgot how it goes the second I opened this tab back up. And now I had to look at it again because I couldn’t even remember the title. And it’s one word! Five literal letters!

Lisa Ajax – Awful Liar

This isn’t for me but I’m not gonna say anything bad about it because to me Lisa Ajax looks like she starts violent bar fights and I’m kinda intimidated and I don’t want none of that.

Smash Into Pieces – Heroes Are Calling

Things that haven’t changed from last year: A) I would still smash Smash Into Pieces into pieces, all four of them, no questions asked and B) this song. This is exactly what they did last year at Mello but with terrible lyrics and a phoned-in production. This could play over the end credits of a Captain America sequel while people are leaving the theater and I’d be like, sure. But in a Mello final? No.

Liamoo – Dragon

I have a deep paternal love for Liamoo who just looks like a really good wholesome boy and I still listen to Bluffin’ from a coupla years ago but what is this? What are these lyrics? “I finally found that I’m not my enemy/’cause I found my dragon”?! Why is the production so drab? At least the staging is popping.

Dotter – It’s Not Easy to Write a Love Song

Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Cazzi Opeia – Give My Heart a Break

I was looking forward to Cazzi coming back almost as much as Dotter. This isn’t terrible, but it absolutely pales in comparison to I Can’t Get Enough, and while the staging concept is fun and colorful, it all ends up looking and sounding a bit too Junior Eurovision for my taste.

Danny Saucedo – Happy That You Found Me

This is fine, but it’s also so generic and so low effort (both in terms of staging and in how little it asks of Danny) that I ultimately find it kind of inconsequential. I had to go and rewatch In the Club as a palate cleanser.

Medina – Que Sera

I actually really like these four songs left, and I find this to be a particularly joyous and infectious summer anthem. It’s like a wet t-shirt contest song, but the production slaps and they’re both adorable and selling the crap out of it.

Marcus & Martinus – Unforgettable

The staging is fantastic. Song slaps. I particularly like the cavernous synths in the first chorus drop that almost sound like crackling electricity. This is such an immersive experience that you end up forgiving the Chipmunks vocals and the somewhat clunky outro. If this wins, and it very well might, it’s going to do just fine.

Jacqline – Effortless

The opening bass line has me by the balls. Another phenomenally staged bop with a great pop chorus (“call the police ’cause you just stole my heart/epiphany in the backseat of your car” is one hell of a couplet), and Jacqline is giving us everything while looking like she’s giving us nothing. This woud be a terribly competitive winner.

Maria Sur – When I’m Gone

If you had told me last year that I would do a 180 on Maria Sur after Never Give Up (a real song which I still can’t actually believe is a real song)…only at Melodifestivalen can such miracles happen. This feels much more like Maria’s lane both in terms of genre and vocal ability, and she looks remarkably more at ease and in control, and you can just tell she’s having fun. While I don’t actually think this would be as competitive as M&M and Jacqline as a winner, the laser show is an absolute showstopper, and I like the song just a smidge more.

So who’s gonna win? The running order for the final tells me the producers have given up on Danny, who’s gonna be closing the show (a spot that generally goes to a crowd pleaser that is not believed to be particularly competitive) while M&M, Liamoo, and Smash into Pieces were given prime real estate locations. Jacqline is also lurking in the second half, though, and I just have a gut feeling about her.

As mentioned, my 12 and 10 points for the contest aren’t in this final – they came 3rd and 4th in the Final Qual round. Scarlet’s Circus X was my absolute favorite song here – an absolutely exhilarating, ridiculous, ferocious spoopy anthem that is unlike anything I’ve ever seen at Mello (no spoilers but those last 30 seconds?! F*CK ME UP) and that, in a year where Sweden is hosting and fast-tracked to the final, would have been a genius selection to send to ESC with real winner potential. I was also quite taken with Fröken Snusk’s Unga & fria, which to me just looked and felt like a massive joy bomb, from the staging (a balaclava-clad mystery lady in a body suit riding a Dala horse in a sea of pink? Yes please) to the song/lyrics/production. I was really excited to get some epadunk on stage this year, but between this and Lia Larsson flopping, maybe it’ll happen next year. We really needed these two acts to advance but Sweden didn’t fully get either, and the final will be objectively worse off for it. But am I still looking forward to it? Oh yes.