ESC Etc.

What’s that? On the horizon. That loud, sparkly thing right over there? It’s Eurovision, y’all! Duh! Anthony and Cesco are so excited that they have no time for small talk. They dive directly in to the final batch of songs from the Eurovision Song Contest 2024, including the Big 5 (Italy, Germany, France, the UK, and Spain) and defending champion Sweden. Which national final had another one of the boys’ biggest heartbreakers? How deep are these unapologetic cumsluts for Swedish pop going to dive into Melodifestivalen? Which song is Cesco’s national anthem? I would tell you, but then you might not listen, and if that’s the case why did I work so hard editing? Hold on to your butts, folks! We’re almost at the finish line!