ESC Etc.

How does our 2024 roster compare to 2023? Is it really the strongest ESC line-up of all time? Well, I’m not a scientist, but here’s how this is going to work!

Rules:

1 – Countries that didn’t return from last year or are debuting/making a comeback this year are obviously not going to be included in the smackdown (sorry Romania and Luxembourg).

2 – Entries from last year will go up against entries from this year: one country at a time in alphabetical order.

3 – Each winning entry scores one (1) point for its corresponding year.

4 – No ties allowed (I hate myself).

5 – This is just my personal opinion (which is of course the correct one). Let’s go!

Albania: Duje vs Titan
I didn’t rate either song particularly high – they’re both fine. The Titan revamp is a bit of a mess (they whetever’d the production and translated the lyrics to English) but overall, it’s still the one I would rather listen to.
2023: 0 – 2024: 1

Armenia: Future Lover vs Jako
Future Lover was in my Top 5 last year and I still have it on rotation. I appreciate the 2024 Armenian entry, too, but not nearly as much. Look at this range and this variety, though!
2023: 1 – 2024: 1

Australia: Promise vs One Milkali (One Blood)
An interesting case of two acts whose respective previous attempts to represent Australia (unsuccessfully) were much better than the songs that eventually got them the ticket to ESC. I actually quite like both these tracks, as different as they are, but One Milkali is just a bit more in my wheelhouse.
2023: 1 – 2024: 2

Austria: Who the Hell Is Edgar? vs We Will Rave
OK, so…it only took four battles for me to resent myself for thinking this would be easy and fun. What can you say about these two masterpieces? HOW CAN YOU CHOOSE? Both are perfect songs unto themselves. At the risk of confronting my own recency bias, I have to give it to We Will Rave because it’s such a perfect throwback.
2023: 1 – 2024: 3

Azerbaijan: Tell Me More vs Özünlə Apar
I wasn’t the biggest fan of Tell Me More last year, and I can’t really say it was robbed of a spot in the final. I definitely appreciate the soundscapes and vibes of the 2024 entry more, but I also don’t feel like I necessarily need it in the grand final, either. Bonus points for powerful mustache representation.
2023: 1 – 2024: 4

Belgium: Because of You vs Before the Party’s Over
I do not fully get the appeal of this 2024 track, which feels a bit underbaked and inconsequential as it trails off into nothingness, whereas Because of You turned into a huge joy bomb on stage and made for one of the best underdog stories of 2023. This one’s a really easy call.
2023: 2 – 2024: 4

Croatia: Mama ŠČ! vs Rim tim tagi dim
Croatia’s on a roll, and I adore both these tracks. They are actually really quite different in the way they both embrace chaos, but there’s already a case to be made that Rim tim tagi dim might (will?) go down as one of the most beloved ESC winners ever, and it hasn’t even won yet. Gotta give this one to my sweet little lasagna.
2023: 2 – 2024: 5

Cyprus: Break a Broken Heart vs Liar
Eh. I miss Eleni. I miss Tamta. I miss Elena. Both these tracks are disposable mindless pop without much there there. Even if I do have issues with Liar, at least it isn’t boring.
2023: 2 – 2024: 6

Czechia: My Sister’s Crown vs Pedestal
We’re still waiting for the Pedestal‘s revamp but unless it’s a completely different song sung by a completely different person, it will not manage to overtake last year’s offering which, while not at the top of my list, is still a lovely and powerful track deserving of that Top 10 finish.
2023: 3 – 2024: 6

Denmark: Breaking My Heart vs Sand
If we’re just looking at studio cuts, Sand does feel a bit more formulaic and overall less interesting/challenging. That said, I don’t actually dislike Sand and I think it is bound to fare better than Breaking My Heart (which still doesn’t necessarily mean it will definitely qualify) since the vocal behind it is more confident and the staging concept looks spectacular and a bit less unwieldy. Gotta go with the strongest overall package here.
2023: 3 – 2024: 7

Estonia: Bridges vs (nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi
I’ll keep this short and sweet. I love (nendest). Bridges is one of the worst songs ever inflicted upon mankind.
2023: 3 – 2024: 8

Finland: Cha Cha Cha vs No Rules
This trajectory is something I would liken to a Greek tragedy. At least I don’t have to decide between Cha Cha Cha and Paskana, which might’ve realistically ended me.
2023: 4 – 2024: 8

And that’s part 1! Stay tuned for 12 more songs soon!